Tag Archives: Phil the Ground Hog

Ground Hog Day 2013—Phil the Ground Hog predicts global warming-no more winters ever!!

Phil predicts an early Spring amid turmoil

Phil the ground hog predicts global warming

Phil the Ground Hog predicts global warming-no more winters ever!! But did you know..

Phil the Ground Hog, as we all know, has a little bro, Bobbi, who two years ago was involved in a big riot on Ground Hog’s Day when Phil was coming out (yes he’s gay and single Jody) of his ground hole to predict the weather for 8 weeks. Since then, after the repression of the Da La Lamba (turns out Da La Lamba was actually interested in Phil), things had been quiet until this year.

Phil's little brother Bobbi

Phil’s little bro-Bobbi

This year it was discovered that Bobbi who is originally from Ireland and recently moved back there, is actually the son of Wayne La Pier-cee! Rumors have swirled for years that Phil was gay (born of royal descent) and now this about Bobbi! Wayne came over years ago to Ireland to help the IRA (Irish Republic Army) get their guns and had an affair with Bobbi’s mother. No wonder Wayne is against extensive background checks! He doesn’t want anyone to know his background! Now this explains why Bobbi loves his guns so much and unwilling to give up his assault weapons! Bobbi has meanwhile been storing up a huge arsenal of guns, assault weapons and ammo because he knows that there is a big movement to ban them in America and is afraid it will move across the big pond. He can’t swim but knows those crazy Americans are always trying to set some new record swimming across the big pond and knows they will someday secede (opps I mean succeed). And some (notice I said some) of them just might secede like those gun toting Texans! Maybe they’ll go join up with Bobbi. Meanwhile Bobbi has installed armed guards in every ground hog school to protect his kind from those crazy varmits in America who know it is their god given right (really? I don’t remember reading that in the bible) to bear arms (legs and tails too). Opps, I’m wrong-it’s their Constitutional Right! But that’s ok, cause they’re always getting religion mixed up with their politics in America. And did you know that before ground hogs predicted the weather, hedgehogs predicted it? Yes, it’s true! But that’s another story for another day…

PS—Every winter I get delirious from lack of gardening and write these whimsical stories on Ground Hog’s Day when I really rather be out digging (like a ground hog). Still gotcha? Wanna read more? To read more on Phil the Ground Hog and his little bro Bobbi, go to my previous posts from the beginning of my delirium-The real story of Phil the groundhog! , Phil the groundhog continued.. , Possible Coup Coming on Ground Hog Day in 2011 and Ground Hog Day 2011-Phil Predicts an Early Spring -Fierce Battle Takes Place Before Ceremony .

For more interesting and maybe factual reading on the ground hog go to ‘What’s Your Ground Hog Day IQ’

DISCLAIMER: All names have been changed to protect my innocence.

Ground Hog Day 2011-Phil Predicts an Early Spring -Fierce Battle Takes Place Before Ceremony

Phil predicts an early Spring amid turmoil at Gobbler's Knob

Just in from US national media: Phil the Groundhog from Gobbler’s Knob doesn’t see his shadow predicts an early Spring!

Phil the Ground Hog narrowly escapes overthrow!

What wasn’t viewed on the US media but was reported by BBC was what really happened just minutes before his prediction.

A fierce battle took place before the ceremony.

Bobbi was about to enter Gobblers Knob with his militia intending to overthrow Phil when…

Daa Lee Lamba attempts takeover at ceremony

Bobbi and Phil’s handlers got a secret message from Phil of an impending danger for all of Groundhogdom.

The Daa Lee Lamba, a sheep from the Baaalands of Lakota, (who coveted the groundhog title) and exiled to a Kiddie Petting Farm, intended to overthrow the existing groundhogs and take the title for himself. He and his masses of groundhogs (whom he had converted by hypnotizing them with his stare) had infiltrated the huge crowd of humans who had come to see Phil’s annual prediction. One of Daa Lee Lamba’s groundhog followers, being blind, wasn’t hypnotized and sent a message to Phil warning him.

Now the handlers when they heard of this dilemma, didn’t want this to happen as they have a good thing going with this Groundhog Day thing and Bobbi wasn’t going to stand by and let some outsider sheep take over. When the handlers were notified, they noticed a huge group of other groundhogs at the event that were guarding this lamb-the Daa Lee Lamba who had just entered.

Phil's little brother-Bobbi, fights in battle

Upon seeing that, they briskly wisked Phil away for awhile to protect him while Bobbi’s militia entered the event and  joined forces with Phil’s troops to battle the Daa Lee Lamba’s troops. When Bobbi stood up and exposed the Daa Lee Lamba’s real intent to all in the crowd, the followers of Daa Lee Lamba’s split into 2 sectors and some started rioting against the Daa Lee Lamba, fighting along with Phil’s and Bobbi’s troops.

Many of the humans being alarmed about being in a ground hog riot, fled in fear of being bitten by the ground hogs or shot by Bobbi (who was the only one in the crowd with a gun).

The fighting was intense with much biting, kicking and knawing going on between the groups but in the end, the Daa Lee Lamba’s groundhog followers refused to turn against their own kind.

Daa Lee Lamba, with tail between his legs, was last seen fleeing the event with only a few loyal followers.

The US media reporters, having a blind eye themselves, being controlled by corporate interests, only saw Phil come out and do his prediction.

For helping to save Groundhogdom, the handlers promised Bobbi major reform in the Groundhog Parliament and promised to meet Bobbi’s demands of better housing, lower taxes, and Secret Service Protection (for the groundhogs who felt threatened by some humans who thought they were gophers).

They also made Phil, King of the Ground Hogs, and henceforward would ask Phil to come out and not force him to come out of his royal home to do the predictions.

Bobbi became a hero amongst his fellow groundhogs and Phil knighted him, made him Prime Minister and gave him the highest rank of General of all of GroundHogdom to ward off any future intruders. In the end, blood was thicker than water-Bobbi came to the aid of his brother.

Thus Groundhogdom and Phil were saved and the future of Ground Hog Day protected… for now.

To read the other earlier posts about Bobbi, Phil and Ground Hog Day, scroll down.